I was in the house with Nancy who was sleeping in the next room. I stood up. I wanted to test my body. Push something. Break something. "[[Website/Limerence/Kilmer]]", I thought, interrupting his instinct, "you're not going to do anything in the house." I felt the tension subside. Good. "Let's go out. *After* we're outside, I want you to lead." I went to the bedroom closet and pulled a black hoodie over my head, quietly, to not disturb [[Website/Limerence/Nancy]]. Making my way to the front door, I glanced around my house. It was calm. Too calm. I stepped out into the crisp night air, the driveway illuminated by soft moonlight. I didn't want to take the Corvette. It was too... weak, thin, feminine. I wanted something stronger. A jeep. A truck. A hummer. Without better options, we decided to walk, to test [[Website/Limerence/Kilmer]]'s control of my body. I didn't know where we were going, but I relaxed and let him take over. We were slightly uncoordinated, my arms and legs moving erratically, like a newborn learning how to crawl. He stretched my arms and legs and tested different rhythms. "You need to exercise more," he thought. "Your body is weak." "Well I can't do much about it now though so let's stay focused." Ignoring me, he bent to the ground and started doing push ups. He craved it. Loved the discomfort. After, he stood up and dusted off my hands. I felt more powerful, my muscles tighter. "That's better," he thought. Most of the neighbors' lights were out, the cars resting quietly on their driveways. I was walking confidently, swaying my shoulders as I prowled the streets. I felt dangerous, alive. I wanted to break into someone's house. I wanted to steal a car. Or, well [[Website/Limerence/Kilmer]] did. "Kilmer," I thought, "I don't want to create a mess." "Just a little breaking and entering," he thought. "We won't get caught. We just need to find something fucked up in one of these houses. It'll be a clue. Everybody has secrets." We peered into a house, yellow paint with white trim. It was calm and clean inside. "Nothing here" he thought, and we walked back to the sidewalk. The next house had a "Danger. Beware of dog" sign on the fence. When we walked past it a motion sensing light flicked on. "Nope." A little ways up the street, [[Website/Limerence/Kilmer]] noticed it. "That's the house," he thought. "Look: dingy, unkept yard, dark windows." "What's inside?" I asked. "My guess?" [[Website/Limerence/Kilmer]] thought, "People that have got something draining them. Probably not drugs, but we can find out." We walked around the building and tried to look into the windows, but they were mostly covered with newspaper taped to the glass, and only small cracks between sheets revealed the dark interior. "How do you know it's not drugs?" I asked. "Trust me." He said, a weariness in his eyes. It was easy enough to unlock the fence to the backyard, and we walked in. The back door creaked as we slowly slid it open, just wide enough to slip inside. The room was cluttered and overflowing, tables and couches piled with newspapers, magazines, books, and takeout containers. The kitchen had stacks of plates covered with a crusted mold, and I held back my instinct to vomit. I wove my way through the stacks of junk. "This is disgusting," he said. "But there's no dark thought here. These are just hoarders." "So what, we just... leave? Try another house?" "No." He thought flatly. "Remember I told you a dark thought feeds on blood?" I did not like where this was going. "Murder? You've got to be joking." I protested. "We don't need to kill them, dumbass." He said, matter-of-factly, "we just need to... you know, scare them a bit." He cracked my knuckles. "If you want to attract a dark thought, you have to feed the darkness. There's no other way, except by doing things you know are wrong." He said. "I could come up with other ideas, but you won't like them either. Which is... the point." I thought about it for a minute, the thought of harvesting... blood... in this house was revolting to me. Kilmer continued. "Look you don't need blood, exactly. We could just light a little fire is all. If they weren't hoarders, they wouldn't have all these newspapers and magazines and boxes and trash. They'd probably survive. But it's their own choices that will end them, not you. You're just tipping the first domino, they're the ones that set up the rest." I hesitated. "Do I have to be the one that lights the fire?" He took over my body. We went to the stove, and he clicked the igniter, the gas flickering and blooming into flame. Then, he took a cardboard box nearby and held it over the fire, the small orange glow eating through until it started to smoke and small flakes peeled off and lifted in the air. "We don't have much time before the alarm," he thought. "So get ready to move." He took the burning cardboard over to a stack of books in the living room, and held it there; it started to lick at the pages. Once it took hold, he moved the flaming box to other piles of newspapers, which started to smoke and caught flame. We slipped out the back door quietly, closing it, and exited the yard, walking down the lawn. "Fuck yeah!" He thought. "That feels good!" My heart was pounding and I wanted to vomit. We jogged away to the trees on the other side of the road; there was a part of my brain expecting an explosion, the adrenaline of the moment preparing me for biting flames at the back of my head. No explosion came. It seemed like nothing was happening and I was unsure if the fire died down. But a few minutes later, as I hid in the trees, watching the house, I heard a faint smoke alarm go off, and soon, two overweight people hobbled out of the front door, clutching some things with them, wearing night robes and slippers. As I waited, I wished I had a cigarette, or a punching bag. Then [[Website/Limerence/Kilmer]] took control, and jogged my body over to them. "What are you doing!" I thought, in alarm. "Going over!" "That's a terrible idea!" I thought. "It puts us at the scene of the crime!" "You're an idiot. We're going to look more suspicious hiding behind trees! Anyway, it's too late." I groaned. And he took off the hood, slowed to a walk, and waved to the couple. "Hey, are you okay? What's going on?" They babbled about needing to call the fire department, not having their phones, losing everything. I pulled out my phone, feigning sympathy. "My god, yeah, that's terrible, here, you can use mine." They dialed the emergency line as I watched the house. The windows were brightly glowing, and smoke was pouring upwards from small cracks in the panel siding. The couple had turned on speaker phone and I heard the line connect. "911, what's your emergency?" a woman asked. "My house is on fire! It's 2104 Sidewinder Street, just near Red River Park. Please hurry!" "Okay, 2104 Sidewinder Street, I see it here. We're sending a fire truck. Should be a few minutes. Is anybody inside the house, or injured?" I let the couple share details with the operator as I watched the flames. Soon, they handed back my phone and thanked me before turning to the mesmerizing flames, holding each other, and chattering in worry. "Well, the people are alive." I thought. "Didn't do us much good." Kilmer seemed thrilled with the events. "I think it's going to work. Just wait. You've got to lay out food for a dark thought to come and feed. This is a good start. An... what do you call it?" "An appetizer." "Yeah, exactly." I crossed my arms and watched the house smoke and crackle, overhearing the couple worry that everything they owned was being destroyed. I felt sorry for them, but also, they brought it on themselves. I wasn't sure what to think, my head felt split between two points of view. A few minutes later, a siren wailed and a fire truck pulled up nearby, the men jumped out and connected a hose to a hydrant, and started to spray the house, black smoke curling up in large plumes. A few neighbors, awoken by the sirens, came out to watch, and I stood transfixed by the long jet of water that tempered the raging flames. After nearly fifteen minutes, soaking the house with water, the blackened walls lay dark and matte, steam rising instead of smoke. The firefighters collected information from the couple, giving them advice, explaining what to do, and asked if they had any place to stay. The woman was weeping, and the man had his arm around her. I felt bad, but offering to help would be counterproductive. I needed the dark thought to show up. Where was it? I started walking back to my house, and as I passed a group of our neighbors, I overheard a couple I recognized. "I'm glad their house burned, such disgusting pigs." said the woman. The man nodded in agreement. "And they brought down real estate prices. Finally some good luck around here. Hopefully they move out and don't come back." Kilmer didn't have to tell me. I could tell where to look for the dark thought next. [[Website/Limerence/The Kasbah]]